Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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