I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
