STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
