Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
