I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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