is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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