i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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