Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
