i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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