He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
