Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
