Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
