He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
