It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
