Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
