Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Terrible idea I love it
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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