I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
