Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
