Your face is a jimmy john
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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