i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize