everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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