If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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