dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
