I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
