it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
