Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize