I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I don't deserve a penis
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
