glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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