RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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