"it" just moved
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
