it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
