Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Every concussion has its silver lining
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
