due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
