am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
