We're like a lot better than the average bears
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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