Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
