did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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