what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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