I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
worst night to have a conscience
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
