I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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