Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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