He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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