Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
