I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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