I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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