i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
