You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
