If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
