the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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