Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
