What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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