Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
