So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
