Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
