dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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