only if we run a train.
done.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
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I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
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I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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