Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize